Belated response, but I am especially grateful that you did not delete those two paragraphs, especially the capper:
"It takes an enormous amount of energy to approximate normalcy through perfectionism, to blunt sensory overload, overwhelming emotions, and hyperverbal processing without numbing out."
My much better half (who left her own tenured full professor position at the end of 2020 and has never regretted it -- to put it mildly) has been offering me an education in neurodivergence for many years now. Everything in those two paragraphs hit home, but especially the idea of trying to "approximate normalcy through perfectionism." Thank you!
"This column is about the stories with unmarketable plotlines, the wrinkles I refuse to iron, the absurdity and tenderness I want to celebrate in the face of an endless news cycle’s fueling of apocalyptic aloneness. A reminder to find pleasure in places that extract our alienation for profit, abstract our bodies for wage theft, distract us with fake idols."
I love the 'Jesus in a cowboy hat' image Alison covers a lot of ground these days. What he said about 'being still' was somewhat poetic and even though it seems to go against the grain of what is supposed to be an erotic moment for him on second thought not really more like delayed gratification. Am I off base with this take? I know it's not the point of the essay just an observation of mine. I have a somewhat personal question do you miss or have any plans on going back to teaching?
To me the moment was sweet more so than erotic. Not delayed gratification so much as an implicit recognition of the erotic labor we perform and a hall pass out of it. He was also most likely a little intoxicated and therefore feeling shy or silly about the whole scenario. But again this is just my best guess, the ambiguity of which I tried to capture in the narrative. As for the other question I get asked it a lot, and I don’t have an answer. I can only say it feels complicated and hard and sad.
I started this essay with the idea that I would read half and finish it later, but as usual with your writing I ended up reading through it all and wanting more. I love these stories you share. Thank you!
Belated response, but I am especially grateful that you did not delete those two paragraphs, especially the capper:
"It takes an enormous amount of energy to approximate normalcy through perfectionism, to blunt sensory overload, overwhelming emotions, and hyperverbal processing without numbing out."
My much better half (who left her own tenured full professor position at the end of 2020 and has never regretted it -- to put it mildly) has been offering me an education in neurodivergence for many years now. Everything in those two paragraphs hit home, but especially the idea of trying to "approximate normalcy through perfectionism." Thank you!
Thank *you* so much for sharing!! I love this so much.
This, right here, is why I read.
"This column is about the stories with unmarketable plotlines, the wrinkles I refuse to iron, the absurdity and tenderness I want to celebrate in the face of an endless news cycle’s fueling of apocalyptic aloneness. A reminder to find pleasure in places that extract our alienation for profit, abstract our bodies for wage theft, distract us with fake idols."
Love your voice. Keep bleeding the daylight.
Wow, what a compliment, and I *love* that turn of phrase you wrote at the end of your comment - thank you so much!!
I love the 'Jesus in a cowboy hat' image Alison covers a lot of ground these days. What he said about 'being still' was somewhat poetic and even though it seems to go against the grain of what is supposed to be an erotic moment for him on second thought not really more like delayed gratification. Am I off base with this take? I know it's not the point of the essay just an observation of mine. I have a somewhat personal question do you miss or have any plans on going back to teaching?
To me the moment was sweet more so than erotic. Not delayed gratification so much as an implicit recognition of the erotic labor we perform and a hall pass out of it. He was also most likely a little intoxicated and therefore feeling shy or silly about the whole scenario. But again this is just my best guess, the ambiguity of which I tried to capture in the narrative. As for the other question I get asked it a lot, and I don’t have an answer. I can only say it feels complicated and hard and sad.
I started this essay with the idea that I would read half and finish it later, but as usual with your writing I ended up reading through it all and wanting more. I love these stories you share. Thank you!
Thanks, Layne - that makes me so happy to hear!